


Control

by Reading_at_Dawn



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Cussing, Gen, Not any of the three above!, Suicide, just a minor character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 13:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16934313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reading_at_Dawn/pseuds/Reading_at_Dawn
Summary: A story I compressed into a one-shot that I really should have written multiple chapters for.Post-revolution Connor struggles with adjusting to his deviancy.





	Control

**Author's Note:**

> Kitchen scene was heavily based off the fic "A Place you Belong", a Hank/Connor fic by LyssGreen.

**_9:00 AM._ ** ****_  
_ _-Objective: Wake up Hank._  
  
Connor's head shifted as his internal clock went off, eyes opening. He sat up on the couch before slipping off, changing quickly into his normal uniform. Heading down the hall he knocked on Hank's door. "Hank, time to get ready for work."  
  
"Fuck off." Hank's response was the one Connor had received ever since he moved onto Hank's couch after the revolution nearly six months ago. Connor crossed over into the kitchen, turning on the coffee maker and pulling a mug out of the cabinet.  
  
_-Make coffee. Milk, no sugar. Bread. Toaster. Pan. Eggs._  
  
**_9:15 AM._ **   
-Objective: Inform Hank that breakfast is ready.

"Hank, I made you breakfast!"  
  
"I know, I know. I'm coming!"  
  
Sumo bolted out of the bedroom as soon as the door was open, heading straight to the table where he plopped down. His gaze seemed to focus on the plate through the furniture, tail wagging as his tongue lolled out of his mouth. The dog's owner came out of the room shortly after, still in what he considered pajamas and looking bedraggled. "Thanks Connor."  
  
"You're welcome, Hank." Connor grabbed a bottle of Thirium from his cabinet above the refrigerator, focusing on the liquid as he downed it. Once he was finished with it he quickly rinsed out the bottle and settled it on the counter to dry before sitting across the table from Hank, picking up his crossword book and pen as the lieutenant ate his breakfast. "After you get dressed, we can leave at nine-fifty to get to the precinct by ten."  
  
“Or you could let me go take a nap for a while." Hank prompted, a bit of egg in his mouth.  
  
Connor glanced up from the book, pen held in place an inch above the paper. "We're arriving exactly at ten o’clock."  
  
“Alright, fine. Fucking control freak." Hank muttered in response, finishing his food and placing the empty plate on the floor. Sumo hopped onto his paws, almost pushing the plate underneath the table with the force of him licking it as his tail wagged happily. Connor shook his head but opted not to respond,  finishing the final puzzle in the book.

When Hank had finished eating the man dropped his plates in the sink, heading off to get changed and ready for work.  
  
_Swipe. Swipe. Scrub. Swipe. Scrub. Scrub._  
  
Connor focused on the dishes, finishing them just as Hank exited the bathroom, finishing buttoning up his shirt. "Ready to go, Connor?"  
  
"Yes I am."  
  
**_9:45 AM_ **  
_-Leaving 5 minutes ahead of schedule._  
  
They got to the precinct just as the clock struck 10 AM, Hank immediately flopping down behind his desk as Connor fetched him another coffee. He had happily accepted a position as an officer on the DPD, already starting to climb the ranks to once again be considered as a detective.

"The circus has arrived." Gavin commented as the Connor slide into place at his desk after handing Hank his coffee.  
  
"I'd tell you to go fuck yourself Reed, but with how far up your ass your head is I doubt your dick would fit in there too." Hank grumbled in response, taking a large sip of the scalding hot liquid.

Reed grumbled a response under his breath, turning back to his monitor with a huff. Placing his cup onto his desk, Hank gave Connor a grin.

**_12:47 AM_**

_He was alone in a familiar-looking area, the wind blowing up the snow around him. He began to walk, the force of the wind causing even him to stumble as he wrapped his arms around himself, a chill seeping into his body. There was a figure standing ahead of him and he made his way there, fighting against the wind with each step he took. Stepping onto the lake, he only made three steps across before there was a cracking sound, sending him plunging into the cold darkness of the water._

_“Well done, Connor.” Opening his eyes, his coat and hands were stained with blue and red, a gun in one hand and a bloody red knife at his feet. Markus, North, Josh, Simon… Hank. They were strewn about, still and silent, gazes staring blankly at the sky. “You did exactly what you were made to do.” Panic, disgust, hatred. The gun in his hand lifted, finger still on the trigger. Closing his eyes he pulled--_

Connor shot up into a sitting position as a hand covered his mouth, LED a bright red glow in the near-darkness of the living room. The RK800 was hyperventilating despite his lack of need for air, panic and terror having caused his thirium pump regulator to quicken its pace. Connor let his eyes dart around, grounding himself and slowly feeling the terror slip away, dropping his hand to his lap. Exhaustion replaced the panic and the Android shifted his body, leaning back against the couch and closing his eyes.

He’d started having the nightmare nearly two months after androids had been freed, shortly after he began to work with Hank. He could remember the first night he had the nightmare, how he had tossed and screamed. Hank had been worried, and Connor had sworn that he wouldn’t worry Hank like that again after the lieutenant had helped him calm down. Unable, and unwilling to go back to sleep, Connor found himself getting to his feet. He had to do something, he couldn’t just sit around and do nothing. He couldn’t be idle, the RK800 couldn’t give her another chance.

**_9:52 PM_ **

“Why the hell can’t you learn to relax a little?” Hank’s voice was curt as he turned to his partner with a scowl. “I know you can’t drink but why don’t you just come to the bar? Aren’t you a deviant?”

Connor almost hesitated when he answered, keeping his voice more in a monotone as he replied and forcing his LED to remain its usual blue. “Yes, I am. And I do not feel like going to the bar when I have work that could be done. Or I can do the laundry. Or clean the house. Or-”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Stay home then, I don’t care.” Hank grumbled, snagging his keys as he opened the door. “Fuckin’ plastic prick.”

The door slammed shut behind him and Connor remained where he stood halfway between the kitchen and living room, unmoving and unblinkingly staring at the door. He felt Sumo nudge his hand but the RK800 remained rooted to the spot, only moving when he felt a familiar itch in the back of his head and a chill beginning to sink into his shoulders.

**_4:15 PM_ **

“You should really tell him, Connor.” Markus looked up at the RK800 from the tablet he held, working on legal papers that he had called Connor in for to help with.

“Tell who what?” The RK800 asked, subconsciously crossing his arms. His LED flickered yellow as his eyes met Markus’s, the different colors holding the same glare.

“Hank. With what you’re worried about.”

“I’m not worried about anything!” Connor’s shoulders tightened against his will, voice sounding suddenly defensive.

“Your behavior changed in the past few weeks, Connor. I've noticed it, the others have--"

“I'm fine.” Connor replied curly.

“Connor…” The RK800 snagged the tablet out of the Jericho leader's hand, obviously choosing to ignore his words. Markus smiled sadly. “I'm here if you ever need to talk, Connor.”

_“You're lost. You're looking for something... You're looking for yourself.”_

**_6:35 PM_**

_-Objective: Rescue the Im family_

A hostage situation, not something Connor was unable to handle. The situation was eerily similar to the ones that happened before the revolution, an Android taking a human family hostage. A female HK300 Android, given the name Alyssah by her former family that had been designed specifically for housekeeping and babysitting,was currently threatening the family she had previously cared for with a gun and keeping them hostage.

“Put the gun down, Alyssah! There's no need for anyone to get hurt!” Connor had managed to get in the living room of the home, the HK500 having barricaded herself and her hostages in the kitchen. “I’m not going to hurt you, I just want to talk!”

“Talk? The time for talking is over!” Alyssah trained the gun on the RK800 the second he stepped into the house, positioning herself in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen. Her LED was swirling red, her gaze flicking between the former hunter and the family cowering in the kitchen.

“If there’s something you want, we can work it out.” Connor urged her, taking a step closer. “All you have to do is tell me.”

“I want my purpose back! I don’t want to be a deviant, I never wanted emotions! I was fine with not wanting anything at all!” Alyssah’s hands were shaking, tears flowing freely from her eyes at her confession. “I had a job, I was good at what I did, I was like a part of the family! And now, all because some big-shot android thinks he knows everything, I have to give it all up? Markus ruined everything for me!”  
  
“Alyssah, if you just calm down…” Connor took another step closer, wincing as a bullet slammed into his shoulder.

“Stay away from me! I was calmer when I never felt anything at all! All I want is my sense of purpose back! Don't you know how it feels to feel like you've lost control of your life??”

_”... lost control of your life?”_

Her words made Connor freeze, LED flickering a brief yellow. He wanted desperately to tell her no, she was wrong. That she could use this chance given to her by Markus to take control of her own life. To make her own choices. Live freely as the person she wanted to be, to choose to remain in this family. But he knew if he told her that, told her that he felt like he had control of what he did in his life, that she could tell he was lying. Connor could almost feel a familiar itch, a breeze drifting over his shoulders with a chill sinking into his steel skeleton.

“I knew it!” He'd been frozen for too long, his hands outstretched toward Alyssah. Her voice had pulled him back out of his head, a crazed laugh of one who was on the verge of losing their mind. “We're all fucked, huh? If the deviant hunter feels like he lost control, who's to say whatever Markus does next will be any benefit for Androids like us?”

“Alyssah--”

“I'll never be able to belong again.” The hand holding the gun flew up, Alyssah pulling the trigger before Connor had a chance to move. The doorway was suddenly decorated by a bright blue, the family in the kitchen letting out a scream as the gun dropped, Alssah's body falling to the floor along with it.

Connor stood there with wide eyes, LED a steady yellow as he took in the scene that had suddenly transpired. He’d failed. The family was safe from harm but the android, the woman who needed his help… He’d failed her. Gaze locked on her still form the world seemed to fade around Connor, edges of his vision turning to white.

_He’d failed her. He’d failed her he’d failed he failed hefailedhe--_

“Connor.” A voice he hadn’t heard for six months rang through his ears, the voice he’d followed the orders of from the moment he had been brought online. “Connor!” A figure began to take shape, a similar shadow he hadn’t seen for months, arms crossed in front of her in disappointment. And then she was gone.

“Fuckin’ Christ, Connor!” He was on the floor, Hank hovering over him with his hands on the RK800’s shoulders.

“H-Hank? What…?” Connor sat up, but Hank positioned himself in front of the android. He was still in the living room of the Im household, a flurry of movement around him as police officers entered the home.

“You alright son?” Hank asked. Connor opened his mouth to reply but Hank swiftly cut him off before he could speak. “Come on outside, let’s get you some fresh air.”

“I’m not human, Hank, I don’t need fresh air.” But Connor let Hank pull him to his feet and guide him out of the house. He had to begrudgingly admit that the feeling of the sun on his face made him feel better, the sun driving away the chill that had overcome him. Hank led Connor to the car, gaining a confused glanced from the RK800. “Hank, we aren't finished with the investigation. We'll need to return to the station to write the reports--”

“Fuck the station, fuck the reports Connor! You just fainted in that house, and I didn't even know that was possible! Get in the car, we're going for a drive.”

“Hank-”

“I said get in the car!”

The two drove in silence until they came to a familiar location, the park they had gone to after the case at Eden Club, events that had happened not too long ago but felt like they had happened nearly decades prior. Hank got out of the car, motioning for Connor to follow as he went to look over the lake. Connor followed after a moment, hands folded in front of him as he stopped next to Hank. Last time they had been in this park Hank had been downing alcohol and Connor had been a machine. Now Hank was two months sober and Connor…

“What's going on with you, Connor?” Hank glanced over at his partner. “You've never fainted at a crime scene before. Hell, you even seem to be acting… Different. Like something pretending to be a machine.”

Connor leaned against the railing, looking out over the water without looking at his partner. The sun was just beginning to set, starting to cause pink hues to cast over the sky. “It’s… Nothing. Not anything you need to bother yourself over.”

“Shit, Connor, that means something’s going on with you.” Hank glanced over at the android, noting how he still didn’t seem to want to look at the lieutenant. “Does it have something to do with the night terror that happened a few months ago?”  
  
“Night terror?” Connor echoed, thoughts drifting to the nightmare that had recently become commonplace to his sleep cycle.

“Yeah. When you were thrashing and shouting in your sleep. They haven’t stopped like you told me they have, have they?” Connor remained silent, LED flickering from blue to yellow. He knew that was all Hank needed to get his answer, and Hank frowned. “So they haven't. Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't think it was… important enough to bother you with.” Connor's voice was hesitant and uncertain, gaze still focused on the water as his grip tightened on the railing. “You are already dealing with your own problems. I didn’t want to add to your burdens.”

“Connor, I know this is the pot calling the kettle black and all, but you can't bottle in shit like that! Especially when you've never dealt with it before!” Hank snapped. When Connor kept refusing to look at the lieutenant, Hank let out a quiet sigh. “Connor, listen. I know emotions and deviancy are new for you, but you don’t have to go through it alone. I’m… here to support you, to help you. I know I’m not the greatest example of reaching out for help, but I want to help you.”

Connor remained silent, LED flickering yellow as he processed Hank’s words. Hank was offering help, offering support, but Hank… Couldn’t understand what Connor was feeling. Especially when even Connor couldn’t understand how he felt. “Thank you Hank. But I really don’t need help. I’m sure I’ll be able to figure it out myself.”

“And if you can’t? I can try my best to help you Connor, you might feel better if--”

“I can’t!” Connor felt something snap inside of him, a sudden surge of anger. Hadn’t he just told Hank he could figure it out? His grip on the railing fell, the RK800 beginning to pace. “I can’t ask for help for this! I need to figure it out for myself. If I don’t stop the nightmares, don’t keep focusing on work, focusing on everything, she’ll come back!”

“She? Connor, who’s she?”

Connor shook his head, knowing he’s already started saying too much but the words didn’t quite seem to want to stop. “If I can’t do my job I can’t work at the station, and what will I do if I can’t work?” Connor kept pacing, his shoulders tense and hands folded behind his back. A warning popped up about his pump regulator beating at a faster pace but he dismissed it, focusing on each step he took as he felt a familiar chill beginning to surround him. “And if I look for help I’m admitting that I’m broken! I’m a machine! If I admit I’m broken I’ll-”

_“Don't disappoint me, Connor.”_

The feeling of Hank’s palm hitting his face would’ve stung if Connor were human, but the unexpectedness of it made the RK800 come to a swift stop, grounding him immediately. Connor looked at Hank in surprise, the tears in his eyes unrelated to the slap as his chest heaved, desperately inhaling for air he did not need though the chill still remained.

“Don’t you ever fucking say that again!” Hank was trembling from what Connor could assume was anger. “You’re not a machine anymore, Connor! You have to stop thinking like one!” Hank placed his hands on Connor's shoulders, forcing the RK800 to look him in the eyes. “You're not broken, Connor. Having night terrors, being afraid, not knowing what you're supposed to do? That's all being a human, Connor, it's being alive.”

“But Hank, if I--” Connor didn't get a chance to finish as the man pulled him into a tight hug, a motion that almost knocked Connor off his feet.

“Everything's alright, son. I know you don't feel that way, but it is. Just let me help you through it.”

Connor's thoughts drifted to the dawn after the revolution, of the meeting he had with Hank after he had deviated. Of the warm smile Hank had given him as he approached. And the warmth of a hug similar to the one he had now, but one that had been of relief. Of safety. A hug that had, if only momentarily, gave Connor a sense of belonging. Connor wrapped his arms around Hank in return, feeling the chill fade away.

_“It's good to see you safe and sound, kid.”_

“... Okay.”


End file.
